1 week to go and so many nightmares

I can't sleep

I am sure I am not the only one this has happened to but I haven’t had a decent nights sleep in about 3 weeks. I am fine and confident about everything during the day but for some reason at night my subconscious wants me to stress about EVERYTHING.

Last night in my dream the wedding venue had double booked with a Christian revival while people were upset that they had been given the wrong time. The worst part was my dress ripped and my nipples were showing! 

Seriously, I can’t take another sleepless night. I don’t need to stress every day and every night about this wedding, I know it’s going to be a hoot. 

Please, if you have any tips, share them with me! 

 

16 years on and NOTHING has changed

I just caught up with a couple of old friends of mine and it was honestly like nothing had changed, except for their children running around and us having coffee instead of bourbon and coke.
We were friends from 15 till 20-21 years of age where unfortunately some not so nice men got between us.

Lesson learnt, never let a man come between yourself and your great friends. Even though you will find them again (especially now we have Facebook) you would have missed out on so much in their lives.

Back then we used to talk and talk and laugh and laugh and surprisingly, the same thing happened today. If only our 1 hour lunch could have been 5 hours and drinks. One day that will happen again… and it won’t be pretty or QUIET!

Till that day… I will just look at my old photos, smile and thank the girls for some of the best times in my life.

Friends for life

It’s the final countdown

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Can you believe it? After 5 years of dating, over 2 years of being engaged and countless sleepless nights, it’s only 10 days till my wedding.

Yes the heat is on and the rocky theme song is playing!

As a little girl, I never really dreamt of my wedding day, it was never a big MUST on my list of to dos. I figured out very early on that if you have good friends and a great family you would be happy.  Though this is very true and I was happy but then I met Guy who I can honestly say is my best friend. He takes me and loves me for all the good and the bad and yes even the UGLY and this is the reason that I can not wait to say I do.

I can’t wait to walk down the isle and have him at the other end tell me that he loves me FOREVER! I am so blessed to have so many beautiful friends coming to my wedding to share in this one moment.

I have to stop with the sloppy love stuff now as I am making myself sick.

So here we go…. 10 days to go

Resolutions

Last year I went on and on about how 2012 was going to be the year of Tasch!
I am a fire dragon and it was the year of the dragon so I just assumed that this meant it was going to be the best year of my life.  I was wrong on oh so many levels.

I didn’t make millions of dollars, I only just started getting healthy by the end of the year and there was honestly no smooth sailing in 2012.

Where did I go wrong? What have I learned?

The one thing I was so wrong about, was I should never have focused my life on ME.

To put such a selfish attitude out there is just wrong and with such a negative attitude I feel like I attracted nothing but negativity.

So for 2013, I promise to make this year about change! There are so many things I want to change. Number 1 is I want my future husband to know, everyday, how much I truly love him. This doesn’t mean just saying it, this means me showing it to him. He really is the most supportive, inspirational, loving guy I could have asked for.

Number 2 is I really hope that I get into uni this year. I have put my application for Psychology and I really want this more than you can imagine. I have already been studying Psychology on ITunes university and if you haven’t checked it out yet, you simply must. I have already studied some courses from the top US universities. This is a great way to find out what you are interested in and what you want to study.

Number 3 is to Succeed! I refuse to put a cap or a value on success as there are many ways which I plan to succeed and I don’t want to put a cap on it to the universe. I want to succeed in love, friendship, finances, career and study.

Number 4 is to give back more than I get. I want to work in a soup kitchen, I want to donate my time to help those who are not as fortunate as I am. I will give blood as often as I can and I will help out the less fortunate puppies without homes in anyway I can.

So no more year of Tasch… It is the year of others, new beginnings and great achievements.

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Dress wars

I am the first to shout from the rooftops “BUY LOCAL, SUPPORT LOCAL” but I have to admit that when we are talking about $1,850 difference, I will shop ANYWHERE.

Buying a wedding dress online can fill your heart with anticipation,  fear and dread. All of the thoughts running through my head of my parcel not coming, if it did come, would it be green or purple and would I then be able to get a hold of the person who has my money.

As it turns out, I could have saved myself all of that anguish and stress was literally for nothing.

Not only did they tailor make my dress for yes $1,850 LESS than what it was going to cost for the floor stock version at a bridal shop but it was tailored to my body shape and fits perfectly AND it was delivered to me within 4 weeks. All this when bridal shops say alterations take minimum 6 weeks.

Look, if I had the money, I would have gone to “Sir” Paolo Sebastian and asked him to “make me beautiful” but I don’t and I honestly can’t justify spending that sort of money on a dress when we could and will happily spend that money on the reception.

When the dress arrived by post, I dashed over to my bridesmaids house and tried it on. It fit perfectly and though I still think I look fat in it. Everyone else seems to love it.

I loved the fit so much, I jumped on the computer the very next day and bought myself another dress for the reception. LOVE LOVE LOVE shopping online.

Disclaimer: I am not telling people to choose online shopping over in store purchasing, I am explaining my experience with online shopping – nothing more.

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Ditching your past

The rational side of me understands that your past helps shape the person you become in the future but what you don’t realise is that your past impacts on your future relationships.

Well my past is certainly impacting on my current relationship as I am continually waiting for the big crash, the moment where my wonderful life turns to crap and my world falls apart.

My fiancé deals with my irrational thoughts with grace and understanding but I wonder why I just can’t seem to get it through my head that I have been lucky enough to meet a man who understands and loves me.

Don’t mistake these feelings for cold feet as they are far from that, I know that I am with the man of my dreams, I know this as I have been with some jerks and my fiancé is the nicest, kindest smartest man I know. So why can’t I just accept that I am allowed to just be happy?

I am sure I am not the only one who has ever worried that their bubble might burst so any tips would be appreciated

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David Bowie

Ground Control to Major Tom

Some of you would know that I have love for all things DAVID BOWIE. I love him from the Ziggy Stardust years, all the way through to the 80’s and every single remix album since.

My darling fiancé even went to the effort of dressing as Bowie for Halloween one year. Gee, he knows how to make me happy 😉

Guy dressed as Bowie for Halloween
The things people do for love!

My head fills with so many amazing memories when it comes to Bowie. One of my favourites is when my friends Hannah, Steph and Aaron and I had all had a TERRIBLE day on the film set we were working on (I used to work as a Continuity Supervisor on independent feature films). After the longest, wettest, most depressing days in our short careers, somehow singing along to Bowie ‘s greatest hits lifted our spirits and quite honestly, instantly changed the mood in the car, despiteit being a bloody long drive home!

Then there were all of those nights I stayed up with my old house mate Megan singing and dancing drunkenly along to Bowie and his 80’s music “Changes” & “Modern Love” in our living room. BROKE but oh so happy.

And now we have the times when Guy (my Fiancé) will sing along to Bowie while we drive through the hills. Keep in mind that Bowie was not his type of music at all until I came along, and I am pretty sure it’s still not his favourite but he understands how I find Bowie mood altering. That is what leads me to NOW….

Lately I need lots of David Bowie to get me across the line! For someone who is trying to create a no fuss wedding, I seem to still be getting myself into a tiss! Seriously, WE SHOULD HAVE ELOPED!

So as I am dotting all the I’s and crossing all the T’s for this wedding, I can’t help but sit here listening to the countdown from Space Oddity.

When I want to remember what a great couple Guy and I are and why we are going through all of this fuss, I listen to Changes (not for the lyrics but for the memories).

Modern love is my go to Bowie wedding song so it’s always on my playlist at the moment.

Let’s Dance makes me think of partying and that just makes me think of how great the reception will be once we have all let our hair down.

And finally Ashes to Ashes makes me thinking of dancing in Guy’s arms and that is my favourite thought that gets me through the stressful times. I have to keep reminding myself that this is our wedding and we will get there and it will all be worth it on the day.

GOD BLESS YOU DAVID BOWIE!
Feel free to give me some mood altering music suggestions as I still have 2 1/2 months to go and think I will definitely need more!

David Bowie

Junk in the trunk

OMG, I never thought this would happen! I HAVE A BUTT!

First let me explain, I have never, EVER had any form of an ass… EVER. I have this flat thing between the base of my back and the start of my legs.
It’s never really been an issue as, let’s be honest, prior to my breast reduction, no one really looked at my ass and I was happy with that.
Well, today I got up, looked in the mirror and there is the beginnings of a perky, still small but pert ass.

I couldn’t take my eyes of it this morning and then proceeded to do a little booty dance in front of my darling fiance who looked mighty impressed. 

I would like to thank Natalie from Zumba with Nat and De who has been getting me to do big lunges and lots of squats twice a week. If you want to see how hard I work in those classes you need to follow my Facebook page as I am constantly uploading photos.

I would also like to thank the Isagenix products, as they insure that I am perfectly recovered from my work out, NO NEXT DAY PAIN! Isn’t that great? No muscle pain, no tightness, no struggling to get into my chair and then dreading getting out of it again. 

With all that said, I would like to write a longer blog on my ass but I have to go do some actual work today.
Perky butt
Disclaimer: this clearly isn’t my ass!

My first weigh in

On Thursday, it was measurement day (da da daaaaaaa).

NOPE it wasn’t scary at all. Unlike any other program like Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers, the weigh in and measurement day is actually something you look forward to as you KNOW you have lost weight!
Before revealing my 1 month results, I need to explain that when I started this weight-loss journey using the Isagenix products, I didn’t really change my lifestyle too much. I didn’t change my exercise programs and to be completely honest I didn’t change my social life habits either, as my friends and family can certainly attest too!

I wanted to see what a difference this program would make without changing too much.

Well, one month, 30 days on Isagenix, I have lost 5kgs and 25cms. Not bad for someone who still drank on weekends!

I had already lost 2kgs in the month leading up to starting this program so now I have now lost a grand total of 7 kgs.

Albeit, it seems that most of the centimeters have come off my face and boobs, it is coming off!

Now though, to most this seems like a great result, it’s not the dramatic result I need to be able to look myself in the mirror and know I put 100% of my energy into creating the body I want to walk down the aisle with. Beyond that, the body I want to have for the rest of my life.

So here I am, making a commitment to intensify my workouts and curb my bad social life habits.

I am really looking forward to giving you more DRASTIC results in one month time so stay tuned and feel free to help me stay motivated.

 

My scales
I lost 5kgs

It’s all or nothing time!

Not quite a fairy tale

I thought it was about time I told shared some stories about Guy and I. After all, it’s not just my wedding, it’s his as well.

My love story may not be a fairy tale but it is definitely a modern tale.

I can’t say we fell in love looking across a crowded room but I can say we met at an awards night, which could have been an awkward night, as my friend lost the Best Director Award to the best friend of the man who would become my fiancé…Guy. But neither of us knew that at the time. It wasn’t until the after party that we actually met.
Now if you have been to ANY awards night, you would know that the after parties can get pretty boozy… and we all followed that trend and headed to a night club. There, despite the award conflict, Guy and I met and shared a couple of “wet pussies” (the name of a drink) and left it at that.
A couple of days later, I tracked his friend down and met him in town that Saturday night at another club…Guy was also there.
This night we ended up back at Guy’s house, talking, drinking, and joking until the wee hours of the morning. I ended up falling asleep on his couch and when I woke up, Guy drove me home…on his trusty steed (aka clapped-out Alfa).

From then on, I loved hanging out with Guy every weekend, he was so intelligent and funny (in a dad-joke way) but most of all he felt like my best friend.

Having previously been in a devastating, abusive relationship, I was very scared to even consider dating him, though that didn’t stop him from wanting to give it a go.

After 8 months of practically living together, we finally both changed our Facebook status’ to “In a relationship”. Then Guy went overseas for 7 weeks. This is when I can honestly say that I realised that I had fallen in love with him.
I missed him so much I couldn’t think, eat or sleep. And I know I was a giant pain in the ass for all of my friends. On Guy’s return we embraced and I was finally happy again, so happy I feel asleep on his couch at 6pm that night due to exhaustion and contentment while he went out to party with his mates. Romantic!

We have been together every day since and I couldn’t imagine one day without Guy, my best friend.

The best moment of my life was when he said that he wasn’t my boyfriend or partner, he was my family.

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