I am sure I am not the only one this has happened to but I haven’t had a decent nights sleep in about 3 weeks. I am fine and confident about everything during the day but for some reason at night my subconscious wants me to stress about EVERYTHING.
Last night in my dream the wedding venue had double booked with a Christian revival while people were upset that they had been given the wrong time. The worst part was my dress ripped and my nipples were showing!
Seriously, I can’t take another sleepless night. I don’t need to stress every day and every night about this wedding, I know it’s going to be a hoot.
Last year I went on and on about how 2012 was going to be the year of Tasch!
I am a fire dragon and it was the year of the dragon so I just assumed that this meant it was going to be the best year of my life. I was wrong on oh so many levels.
I didn’t make millions of dollars, I only just started getting healthy by the end of the year and there was honestly no smooth sailing in 2012.
Where did I go wrong? What have I learned?
The one thing I was so wrong about, was I should never have focused my life on ME.
To put such a selfish attitude out there is just wrong and with such a negative attitude I feel like I attracted nothing but negativity.
So for 2013, I promise to make this year about change! There are so many things I want to change. Number 1 is I want my future husband to know, everyday, how much I truly love him. This doesn’t mean just saying it, this means me showing it to him. He really is the most supportive, inspirational, loving guy I could have asked for.
Number 2 is I really hope that I get into uni this year. I have put my application for Psychology and I really want this more than you can imagine. I have already been studying Psychology on ITunes university and if you haven’t checked it out yet, you simply must. I have already studied some courses from the top US universities. This is a great way to find out what you are interested in and what you want to study.
Number 3 is to Succeed! I refuse to put a cap or a value on success as there are many ways which I plan to succeed and I don’t want to put a cap on it to the universe. I want to succeed in love, friendship, finances, career and study.
Number 4 is to give back more than I get. I want to work in a soup kitchen, I want to donate my time to help those who are not as fortunate as I am. I will give blood as often as I can and I will help out the less fortunate puppies without homes in anyway I can.
So no more year of Tasch… It is the year of others, new beginnings and great achievements.
My darling fiancé even went to the effort of dressing as Bowie for Halloween one year. Gee, he knows how to make me happy 😉
My head fills with so many amazing memories when it comes to Bowie. One of my favourites is when my friends Hannah, Steph and Aaron and I had all had a TERRIBLE day on the film set we were working on (I used to work as a Continuity Supervisor on independent feature films). After the longest, wettest, most depressing days in our short careers, somehow singing along to Bowie ‘s greatest hits lifted our spirits and quite honestly, instantly changed the mood in the car, despiteit being a bloody long drive home!
Then there were all of those nights I stayed up with my old house mate Megan singing and dancing drunkenly along to Bowie and his 80’s music “Changes” & “Modern Love” in our living room. BROKE but oh so happy.
And now we have the times when Guy (my Fiancé) will sing along to Bowie while we drive through the hills. Keep in mind that Bowie was not his type of music at all until I came along, and I am pretty sure it’s still not his favourite but he understands how I find Bowie mood altering. That is what leads me to NOW….
Lately I need lots of David Bowie to get me across the line! For someone who is trying to create a no fuss wedding, I seem to still be getting myself into a tiss! Seriously, WE SHOULD HAVE ELOPED!
So as I am dotting all the I’s and crossing all the T’s for this wedding, I can’t help but sit here listening to the countdown from Space Oddity.
When I want to remember what a great couple Guy and I are and why we are going through all of this fuss, I listen to Changes (not for the lyrics but for the memories).
Modern love is my go to Bowie wedding song so it’s always on my playlist at the moment.
Let’s Dance makes me think of partying and that just makes me think of how great the reception will be once we have all let our hair down.
And finally Ashes to Ashes makes me thinking of dancing in Guy’s arms and that is my favourite thought that gets me through the stressful times. I have to keep reminding myself that this is our wedding and we will get there and it will all be worth it on the day.
GOD BLESS YOU DAVID BOWIE!
Feel free to give me some mood altering music suggestions as I still have 2 1/2 months to go and think I will definitely need more!
Well, I might be going a little overboard with that statement but the whole process of deciding who to invite and who to remove from the list is the biggest headache I have had so far with this wedding.
If you don’t know me personally, I am a people-pleaser and I want to keep EVERYONE happy. But I can’t. I would love to invite everyone. But I am not able too.
After a big discussion with my Matron of Honour and my Fiancé, who have opposing opinions, I think I have decided to keep both of them happy and do both (do you see the common theme here?)
So my question to you… Am I doing the right thing?
So I am now thinking I will invite people to come and check out the wedding (which is being held in a pretty cool location and has its own bar on premises) to keep those who can’t wait to toast my nuptials happy and then I am organising an after-party! This is for those friends who we just can’t invite to the reception but who, we know just want to come and enjoy a few drinks and celebrate what will be a very lovely day with us.
So… is it wrong to do this?
I know it is my wedding and in theory I can do whatever I want but in reality, I care what people think of me and never want to hurt them or disappoint them so I definitely do not want to send out an invitation to an after-party if it will offend that person.
Disclaimer, this is not a photo of me or any of my friends however, I did “borrow” it from a dear friend called GOOGLE